Tracy Tennant

Mormon Leaders Must Become Tone Deaf

 Blog  Comments Off on Mormon Leaders Must Become Tone Deaf
Aug 132014
 

If Mormonism is to survive—or at least to survive well—its leaders must become “tone deaf.” Musically speaking, the last thing you want an aspiring musician to be is tone deaf. Tone deafness is not an inability to hear sound; it is the inability to distinguish pitch. Have you heard the expression “Can’t carry a tune in a bucket?” The tone deaf person has difficulty hearing the difference between high and low notes, for example, on a piano or other instrument. A tone deaf person might enjoy singing (and singing with great gusto), but will sound very…well…awful. In fact, it might even cause mental anguish to someone listening.

There are situations, however, in which a little “tone deafness” might be beneficial. Take the recent experience of a BYU-Idaho Institute teacher who resigned from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for example. The instructor, Kirk Caudle, mentioned during an online optional class discussion that the account of Brigham Young’s *transfiguration* into the likeness of deceased leader Joseph Smith was “not entirely historical.”[1] Word got back to local church leaders that Mr. Caudle essentially had stepped outside the box and did his own thinking.

Reaction was quick. Caudle was called in by the heads of the school’s religion and online learning departments for a 45-minute dressing down. Leadership had no problem with the content of Caudle’s class material; they did, however, have an issue with his “tone.” Apparently his tone did not take on an obsequious enough timbre. Consequently, BYU-Idaho did not renew his teaching contract. Historical accuracy is not part of the LDS Church-approved curriculum, and thought-provoking discussion is not allowed, unless the discussion follows pre-screened and approved talking points.

As Henrichsen reports;

When Caudle pointed out that students enjoyed his classes, he was told, “We don’t care what the students think. We just want you to teach the curriculum.”

The issue of tone goes far beyond the bounds of LDS academia. Lay members of the Church are often warned about their tone when asking questions or are instructed to “tone things down” when caught speaking in such a way as to put the Church or its leadership in a negative light. If members pursue getting answers to their questions or concerns about LDS history, doctrines, or policies, they might be threatened with disciplinary action if a particular ward or stake leader doesn’t like their tone. If their tone isn’t taken down in pitch—to, oh, say a low grovel—the threatened discipline may very well ensue.

Members of the LDS Church are not the only ones who must pass the test of tonal temperance. Non-members, ex-members, and prospective members must all undergo scrutiny to assure they are not even a half-step off pitch. Not enthusiastic enough about Mormonism? You’re too flat. Ask a probing question about Mormonism’s history or doctrines? You’re too sharp; as presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee learned when he asked if, according to LDS teachings, Jesus and Satan are spirit-brothers (the answer is yes).

A spokeswoman for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said Huckabee’s question is usually raised by those who wish to smear the Mormon faith rather than clarify doctrine.[2]

So, who are the spiritual maestros filtering the timbre of “musicians” to ascertain if they are fit to participate in the “Mormon orchestra?” Who are the so-called experts who know the hearts and minds of those asking questions, giving information, or expressing opinions? Who determines whether one is trying to get clarification on a doctrine or trying to “smear the Church?” And does it really matter what the person’s motive is, even if it’s apparent? Truth is truth, right? If a teaching, doctrine, position, or historical event of the One True Church is actually an established fact, shouldn’t it be addressed with pride and candor, or in some instances with an apology and frankness?

Considering that members are leaving the Church in numbers that are of concern to the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, perhaps a little tone-deafness would benefit the organization. Elder Marlin Jensen said at a Utah State University Fireside in November of 2011,

Maybe, since Kirtland we’ve never had a period of—I’ll call it apostasy—like we’re having right now.[3]

Instead, the Church is coming down hard on dissenters and information seekers alike. The ouster of Kate Kelly and John Dehlin[4] are recent examples, but the problem is more far-reaching than with persons of notoriety in Mormondom. Mormon missionaries are known for suddenly remembering impending “appointments” when questions by potential proselytes or street-preachers take on a tone of dissonance.

The freedom to ask questions with the expectation of receiving honest answers is foundational to a vibrant faith community. It engenders trust and builds confidence. “Coming clean,” as it were, usually garners respect from others. Perhaps the Mormon Church has too much to lose by employing candor and honest, open discourse, but it’s already losing on many fronts by its repeated resistance to transparency.

As it stands LDS leaders would “like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,”[5] with everyone—Mormon and “gentile” alike—praising “the man who communed with Jehovah.”[6]  And since that’s as highly improbable as a bass becoming a coloratura, Mormon leaders had best hearken to the countless individuals crooning (on or off key) the chorus of Billy Joel’s hit song, “Honesty.”[7]

 

 

[1] Henrichsen, C. (2014). BYU-Idaho religion instructor leaves church. Approaching Justice. http://approachingjustice.net/2014/08/05/byu-idaho-religion-instructor-leaves-church/#comments

[2] Quaid, L. (2007). Huckabee asks if Mormons believe Jesus, Satan are brothers. Deseret News. December 11, 2007. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/695235240/Huckabee-asks-if-Mormons-believe-Jesus-Satan-are-brothers.html?pg=all

[3] Henderson, P. & Cooke, K. (2012). Special report: Mormonism besieged by the modern age. Reuters. January 31, 2012. http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/31/us-mormonchurch-idUSTRE80T1CM20120131

[4] Connor, T. (2014). Will Mormon podcast host John Dehlin be excommunicated. U.S. News. June 26, 2014. http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/will-mormon-podcast-host-john-dehlin-be-excommunicated-n139526

[5] New Seekers. (1971). Buy the world a coke.

[6] Phelps, W. (2014). Praise to the man. Hymnal. https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/praise-to-the-man?lang=eng

[7] Joel, B. (1978). Honesty. A matter of trust – the bridge to Russia. http://www.billyjoel.com/music/matter-trust-bridge-russia/honesty

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

The Importance of Being Relationally Earnest

 Blog  1 Response »
Aug 032014
 

Knowledge is great, but when you wield it as a club to beat someone into intellectual submission it becomes a weapon of crass destruction. Have you ever had anyone finish your sentence but it wasn’t what you were going to say? Did someone ever make an assumption about you based on your appearance, age, name, gender, or religion, only it didn’t even come close to being true? Have you ever made an assumption that turned out to be wrong? How many arguments could be avoided if we just take the time to hear each other out?

On numerous occasions I’ve had someone tell me I must be really organized after finding out I homeschooled my ten children for many years. I just laugh. Me, organized? Anyone who really knows me knows that “organized” is no more in my vocabulary than “moderation.” Don’t get me wrong; I’m not against organization, it’s just that I find it incredibly unnecessary and boring. Same with moderation. If having one child is good, then having ten is better. Well, at least it’s funner. Yeehaw!

31850025

Assumptions aren’t always wrong and they’re not always out of line. You can assume I enjoy Mexican food if you see me frequenting a Mexican restaurant. In fact, you can pretty much know I like Mexican cuisine if you’ve seen me drinking the salsa right out of the dish (as I’ve been known to do on occasion; like when my husband isn’t looking).

Drinking Salsa

Knowledge is useful, and making assumptions can at times be helpful; but when it comes to deeply personal issues, like religious or political beliefs, it’s best to set one’s presuppositions aside and earnestly seek to understand the views of the individual.

I dislike being told what I believe. I didn’t like it as a Mormon, and I don’t like it as a Christian. I just bristle when I hear someone say, “All you Christians think all you have to do is say a little prayer for salvation and then you can live like the devil and still go to heaven.” No, not all Christians believe that. In fact, very few—at least that I’ve met—believe that. I, personally, don’t know of any.

As a Mormon it used to bother me when someone would say that Mormons believe that there are six-foot-tall Quaker-looking people living on the moon (Young Woman’s Journal, vol. 3, 1892). Well, to be fair, I actually did believe that there could be people living on the moon, but they probably didn’t dress like Quakers and some of them could have been short. But still. I hated being told what I believed when maybe I really didn’t.

My LDS sister-in-law recently told me that a few years ago her neighbor—a pastor—spent a couple hours telling her what Mormons believed. As she listened to his speech (apparently he did most of the talking), she kept thinking, I’ve never heard that. I don’t believe that. That’s new to me. That’s not taught in our church. She was shocked at some of the things her neighbor insisted she believed.

I remember when I was first taught in LDS seminary in 10th grade that Heavenly Father had sexual relations with Mary for Jesus to be conceived (Mormon Doctrine, p. 546-547, 742; Family Home Evenings Manual, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1972, p. 125-126; and other references). I was horrified! I left class in tears. Eventually the thought was so repugnant to me that as an adult I refused to believe it. In order to reconcile that the Church was true and not think the early LDS prophets were in error, I had to do some mental gymnastics. I decided that Heavenly Father could have used artificial insemination to impregnate Mary. So I was able to breathe a sigh of relief, quite pleased with myself for resolving the issue, at least in my own mind. If anyone had told me that I, as a Mormon, believed that Jesus was conceived through a physical union of God the Father and Mary I would have denied it. But if it had been pointed out that the plain sense of LDS teachings meant exactly that, I would have had no choice but to re-examine  my faith and decide if I was going to believe what our Church’s prophets taught or what the Bible taught.

When I was LDS I didn’t have a problem with people asking me about my beliefs, faith, practices, or about Mormon doctrines. I was happy to discuss these things, even with people who didn’t understand or agree. I wasn’t offended when someone opened up the Bible and showed me passages that seemed to refute Mormon doctrine. It was only offensive when someone seemed more concerned about proving me wrong than about the state of my soul; or when someone brought up a uniquely Mormon doctrine in the most inflammatory way, like, “You believe God committed incest with Mary, his spirit-daughter.” It was an ugly and unkind way to bring up the subject, and certainly threw cold water on what could otherwise have been thoughtful discourse.

My friends, please listen. Whether you’re a Christian trying to talk to your Mormon friends and neighbors, or passing out literature outside an LDS Temple; or a Mormon trying to engage your evangelical roommate or co-worker in a religious conversation, use language that invites thoughtful discussion. You can study other religions and learn a great deal about them, but when it comes to talking to an individual follower of that religion, realize that he or she might not fit into some neat little theological box. Be earnest. Ask questions.  Show you care. Better to say, “It’s my understanding that Mormon doctrine states x,y,z…,” than to say, “You believe that (fill-in-the-blank)…”

If you want to win souls, show your concern. If you want to win an argument, join a debate club.

 

photo credit: uoɹɐɐ via photopin cc

The Pitfalls of Spiritual Pragmatism Part 2

 Blog  1 Response »
Jun 192014
 

I need to elaborate on the last paragraph of Part 1.  There are times when it just isn’t possible to leave the LDS Church, as much as one might like to. It’s easy to tell someone, “Well, if you don’t believe it’s true, just leave;” another thing quite entirely when the person’s circumstances are complicated. I’ll admit that I used to see this issue as black and white. In my zeal I would have pounded the pulpit and said, “Truth at all costs. You can’t support the Church when it’s clearly false!” Now, I’m not so hasty.

In my case I had the support of my husband, even though he wasn’t ready to leave the Church at the time. But what is a person supposed to do when their spouse threatens to divorce them, or worse, to divorce them and seek full custody of the children? What do they do if they’re in their senior year at BYU and will get expelled if they leave the Church)? What should a person do if they’re employed by the LDS Church and are within a couple years of retirement? Should they quit at age 55 or 60 even though it will mean possibly starting over as a Wal-Mart door-greeter?

These are tough questions with no easy answers. I don’t think we can make judgments about the character of those who stay in the Church to save their marriages or keep their children. We can’t point our fingers and accuse them of caring more about family or career or education than they do about their relationship with God. That would be unfair and unkind. I wouldn’t encourage them to live under of false pretenses, but to find a way to be able to express and practice their real beliefs. If necessary, a person can leave Mormonism without leaving the Mormon Church, at least while his or her spouse comes to terms with the situation.

I also firmly believe that if the person has come to what’s often referred to as “saving faith” in Jesus Christ of the Bible, God will provide a way for him or her to be able to live authentically. He will give wisdom, courage, and guidance. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. If you are in a difficult circumstance like one of those above, I encourage you to trust God, lean on him, stay prayerful, read the Bible for strength and comfort, and follow his leading. Do what you can to work toward a mutually acceptable solution with your TBM (True-Blue Mormon) spouse to accomodate a dual-faith relationship or family.

When I speak of spiritual pragmatists, I’m not referring to people in difficult circumstances with painful decisions to make. I’m speaking about people who know something is false or wrong, but stay with it for the sake of convenience. It “works” for them so why stir the pot? This brings me back to my brother-in-law and the woman from my former ward. They admitted to not believing the Church is true; but in Fast & Testimony Meetings, Family Home Evenings, and at other times in front of their children, grandchildren, relatives, and LDS friends they can still be heard declaring,

“I know the Church is true. I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet. And I know the Church is being led by true prophets and apostles today.”

Essentially, they are lying, and it seems like they justify those lies through pragmatism:

“The Church might not be true, but it gives a good framework for my family to live within.”

Don’t they realize that their spouses and kids look up to them and depend on them, not only for physical protection, but spiritual protection as well? Do they not see that their loved ones trust them—trusting and believing their very words—and they aren’t even speaking truth? How tragic. They “go from bad to worse, deceiving others and being deceived themselves” (2 Timothy 3:13).

When I was a devout Latter-day Saint, I held to the “correspondence theory” of truth (and still do). I thought that the Church was true because I trusted that the information given to me by Mormon leaders corresponded with the facts.

For example; I was taught that Joseph Smith, Jr. found plates of gold along with a device—like spectacles of some sort—known as the Urim and Thummim (referred to in the Bible, Exodus 28:30). He ostensibly put on these spectacles, which were attached to a breastplate, and carefully pored over each character etched on the plates until the proper meaning appeared, and this is how the Book of Mormon was translated.

Furthermore, I was taught that the 11 witnesses to the Book of Mormon saw the gold plates and handled them. So, along with the good feelings I received when praying to know if the Church was true, my beliefs were based on what LDS leaders, teachers, and Church manuals said happened. I had no reason to believe the Church was not being forthright about its history and origins.

Eventually I discovered that Smith did not use any such device as the Urim and Thummim, but rather used a stone he found while digging a well. He placed this stone in his hat, put his face into the hat, and dictated words to a scribe. Additionally I learned that the so-called witnesses to the Book of Mormon never saw the gold plates with their physical eyes, as implied in seminary, Sunday school, and over the pulpit; but with their “spiritual eyes” (in other words, their imaginations). And whatever it was they handled, or “hefted” as church literature says, was covered by a cloth. For all anyone knows they could have lifted a box of rocks.

When I discovered that what I was taught didn’t correspond with reality, I could no longer in good conscience remain a participant in such an organization

I agree with the Mormon 11th Article of Faith, which states: “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” I do not insist that others believe as I do, just as I would not want others insisting I believe as they do. What I want is transparency in religious institutions so that the members and/or investigators can make informed choices. Not everyone wants to be pragmatic about their spiritual walk. Many individuals want an authentic relationship with God, and I am one of them. Truth does indeed matter and is too precious to be pragmatic about.

This is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent (John 17:3).

 

<Return to Part 1>

The Pitfalls of Spiritual Pragmatism Part 1

 Blog  Comments Off on The Pitfalls of Spiritual Pragmatism Part 1
Jun 102014
 

I noticed something interesting when I mow the lawn. I tend to mow like I vacuum. Conversely, my husband tends to vacuum like he mows. I was pushing the lawn mower back and forth as if I was sucking up dirt from a carpet, and two things occurred to me. First, maybe it isn’t my shapely legs that neighbors stare at when I’m doing yard work. Maybe they’re wondering why that nutty woman is “vacuuming” her lawn with a Toro Super Recycler Personal Pace Mower; and second, there could be a spiritual application at play.

The grass was getting cut, but not very efficiently. When my husband vacuums (rare occasion), he’ll go up and down the length of the room in nice little rows, which—in my opinion—doesn’t get all the dust up. It takes going back and forth over the same area from different angles to ensure all the dust and allergens are getting picked up. So why do we mow and vacuum like we do? Because it’s what we’re used to and it works; maybe not so efficiently, but for the most part the job gets done. When someone suggests a better way, our first inclination is that our way is good enough.

However, what if “good enough” isn’t the best way to do something? More to the point, what if “good enough” is actually detrimental? For example, getting grades of C’s and B’s (good enough) won’t get a person into an Ivy League school. Daily exercise (good enough) won’t keep people healthy if they smoke, drink excessively, or include a lot of sugar and processed foods in their diets. Doing only what it takes to get by results in mediocrity and in some cases failure.

Often people are just as pragmatic about spiritual matters as they are about household chores. In other words, if it works it’s good enough. When asked how he could reconcile the problems of Mormonism—historical revisions, doctrinal changes, and other evidence against its veracity—a former brother-in-law of mine said something to this effect: “It doesn’t matter to me. Those things don’t matter to me. Membership in the Church works for my family.”

Shortly after I left Mormonism, a woman from the ward came over to try to convince me to come back. I explained to her my reasons for leaving and why I could no longer believe the Church was true. Exasperated, she finally said, “Look, I don’t really believe the Church is true either, but it’s good for my kids and my husband. It helps them think right.”

Now, I don’t know exactly what she meant by “It helps them think right,” but I don’t think I would be too far off by presuming she meant that “Mormonism works” for her family. It works by giving structure and a sense of purpose to its members, rules to govern themselves by, and accountability. Those are good things, right? Well….not so fast. Many harmful groups and philosophies offer structure, purpose, rules, and accountability. Street gangs, for instance. Communism. Fascism. Radical Islam. Fundamentalist polygamist sects like the one headed by Warren Jeffs.

Structure, purpose, rules, and accountability are only as beneficial or good as the source imposing them. Responsible, loving parents; honest local governments; ethical businesses; educational systems that encourage freedom of thought and expression are examples of positive and constructive ways in which the preceding attributes can be used. When used to impose control, restrict freedom, demand conformity, gain allegiance, and induce fear, they become tactics that destroy personal growth, choice, and responsibility.

At its root, pragmatism is little more than an outward expression of the end justifying the means. Obviously, there are times we must deal with an issue pragmatically. If something is broken around the house, sometimes we just have to “Jimmy-Rig” it until a more permanent or better solution presents itself. But when pragmatism becomes the primary method by which we run our lives, we leave ourselves open to error. My former brother-in-law and my friend were making salient decisions affecting their eternal lives based on pragmatic views:

“So what if the Church isn’t what it claims to be. At least it teaches good things.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s false. It works for me and mine.”

Let’s see how well that philosophy works in secular matters:

“So what if it’s a scam. 20 cents on every dollar actually goes to help people.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s dishonest. It helps my family be better off.”

If something isn’t what it claims to be, it’s phony. It doesn’t matter if “good things” come from it. By knowingly participating in something untrue, you are supporting deception. Think of it this way, can counterfeit money be used for good? Yes. It can buy food for the hungry, pay a poor person’s utility bill, and put gas in a struggling college student’s car. I don’t know how widespread a problem counterfeiting is, but probably the majority of people passing on the fake bills don’t even know it’s counterfeit. But what about the counterfeiters? They know it’s wrong. They might ease their consciences through rationalization, but ultimately they realize if they are caught they will go to prison. Or maybe they’ve gotten away with doing it for so long they actually believe they’re contributing to society by stimulating the economy.

My friends please listen. There are people in churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples all over the world who are there for pragmatic reasons. Many individuals—the religious and the unreligious—join groups or organizations because it’s the practical thing to do. It could be family tradition, convenience, appearances, making connections, politics, or to simply feel good about themselves. Each of us needs to examine our affiliations and see what they are resting on, especially in regard to worldviews and spiritual pursuits. You might look for answers to the following questions:

  • What is the origin of this church organization (the one I go to or the one I’m considering)?
  • What was the general character of its founder(s)?
  • What do they teach about God, Jesus, salvation, and the Bible?
  • Does the organization require membership as the basis for living eternally with God?
  • Do their claims align with the facts, insofar as they’re able to be verified?
  • Do the leaders discourage questioning?
  • Does leadership deny or minimize wrongdoing when the evidence shows otherwise?

If the answers demonstrate reason for concern, do further research. If the evidence points to falsehood, deception, or serious error, it’s time to leave. How important to you is truth? Make a self-evaluation. Consider what message you’re giving your children and grandchildren by choosing spiritual pragmatism. It’s like saying that being part of the club is more important than personal integrity, that convenience is more important than honor, and that self-gratification is of more value than worshiping God “in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24).

 

<Continued in Part 2>

High School Graduation and Preparing for Eternity

 Blog  1 Response »
May 312014
 

Our eighth child just graduated from high school. It was a time of celebration. Family came from out of town to support and encourage him. We held an open house for friends to drop by and congratulate our son. The weekend of the events at the high school and our house flew by quickly, and our son—now a man—is getting ready to go to college. To guests (especially those who haven’t had a child graduate) the whole affair seemed pretty simple: watching a ceremony at the school and lunch with punch at the house. However, behind the scenes a lot of preparation went into graduation weekend.

In the months leading up to graduation, senior pictures, caps and gowns, and invitations had to be ordered. The last few weeks of the school year were filled with programs to attend, like band and choir concerts, the senior breakfast, and graduation rehearsal. Here at home we had to get ready to receive company. We had to make sure there were enough groceries for extended family that would be staying for days. We needed food and beverage for the open house. Besides cleaning and scrubbing, dusting, sweeping, mopping, and mowing the lawn, there was decorating and setting up extra chairs. We wanted people to feel comfortable and welcome in our home, and we wanted our son to be able to rejoice in his accomplishment without having to worry about all the details. After all, he put 12 years of effort into his education; now it was time for him to take a short breather before stepping into the next level of life responsibility.

As I consider our recent experience with our son, I’m reminded of the parable of the unrighteous steward in Luke 16. It was reported to a wealthy business owner that the manager he employed was squandering his money, so he called the man in to give an accounting, telling him that he was going to lose his job. The manager was alarmed. He was too old for manual labor and too proud to go begging, and became extremely concerned about how he was going to earn a living. He quickly went to all the people who owed his boss commodities and told them to write out a bill of payment for half the amount they owed. Thus by doing them this favor, the manager was ingratiating himself so that when he lost his job he would have connections in the job market. His boss actually applauded him for his quick thinking and shrewdness. After telling this parable to his disciples, Jesus commented that people of the world, in secular endeavors, were much wiser than “the children of light” (the redeemed; those who know God).

In our own lives we take great care to attend to our secular responsibilities and cultural traditions, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But do we take the same care and concern over spiritual matters by attending to Kingdom business? Are we walking the walk or just giving lip service to God? Do we sweep out bad habits and mop up our mistakes? Do we dust the cobwebs of impure thoughts from our minds? Do we make a conscious effort to scrub our hands clean of wrongdoing? Are we making sure we have spiritual nourishment? Do we “set out extra chairs” to invite others into our hearts, making them feel like welcome guests in our lives?

One day there will be a great celebration and time of rejoicing for those who have been redeemed from death and hell, and while we don’t earn our redemption by working for it, there is still much preparation to be engaged in. We prepare our hearts and minds through trusting (faith), prayer, study, and living godly lives. Jesus made disciples, not converts. A disciple imitated the walk of his master. If we desire to imitate Jesus, we would do well to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind foremost; and secondly to love our neighbor as ourselves. Then we will have great reason to rejoice indeed when we enter into His presence!

God’s Best for Us

 Blog  Comments Off on God’s Best for Us
May 022014
 

Would you trade all of your possessions for a billion dollars? Seriously. Consider your house, closet full of clothes, car(s), furniture, exercise equipment, and whatever; just your material possessions. Let’s make it ten billion dollars. I think most of us—at least here in the United States—would gladly do it in a heartbeat. When we consider the possibilities of what we could do with all the money we wouldn’t think twice. I look at my dented minivan that needs a couple thousand dollars worth of repairs, my small older home that needs probably ten thousand dollars in repairs, my not-so-stylish clothes, and appliances that are on the brink of going out; you bet I’d trade it for a billion. Heck, I’d trade all that for a million! In fact (can I be frank?), I’d trade it for half a million.

Some people are content with what they have and where they’re at. I read an article not too long ago about a family that sold their upper-middleclass house in the suburbs, bought some land, and built a 600 square foot home to live in with their four kids. (They’re a little “different”). Contentment is good. It’s good to be happy and thankful for what we have. A lot of unhappiness can be generated when we focus on the things that we don’t have.

However, this post isn’t about learning to be content (a lesson for another time). It’s about the idea that many of us have a lot of “junk” in our lives that we hold onto; junk that we don’t even need. No, I’m not referring to hoarding. I’m referring to leaning on our own wisdom and understanding to get what we want for ourselves instead of what God wants for us. He’s not concerned as much about our comfort as He is about our character. It’s a scary thing. It shouldn’t be, but for many of us it is.

So, let’s get back to the billion dollars. By way of analogy, we can only imagine the riches of God’s kingdom. Not only material riches—although His kingdom will be filled with beauty and wealth—but spiritual riches. From Genesis we learn that God walked in the Garden of Eden “at the time of the evening breeze” (3:8, CJB). Adam enjoyed fellowship with God before his fall. A time is coming when people can once again be in God’s presence. But we can get so caught up in the here and now that we lose sight of the long-term. We’re essentially passing up the offer of a billion dollars (spiritually speaking) to hang onto our little pile of junk.

Yeshua told his disciples these parables:

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. A man found it, hid it again, then in great joy went and sold everything he owned, and bought that field.

Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for fine pearls. On finding one very valuable pearl he went away, sold everything he owned and bought it (Matthew 13:44-45).

We make our own plans, dream our own dreams, make goals to achieve great accomplishments, and that’s all well and good; but do we invite God to give us His input? Do we ask Him to direct us? And when He does, do we argue with Him or do we lay down our desires for His?

I was disappointed (for a time) that Donny Osmond didn’t date me or ask me to marry him, but God had better plans. I felt bad (for a while) that I didn’t become rich and famous, but God had better plans. I always dreamed of being able to sing as well as Sandi Patty, to write a best seller, to speak in front of a thousand people, to change the lives of multitudes like Billy Graham or Mother Theresa; but God had better plans. I always wanted a country-style home with a white picket fence, a wrap-around porch, and a pigmy goat and some chickens on a couple acres, but God had better plans.

I don’t have a lot of money, a large house, or fame and fortune. I can’t sing like Sandi Patty; in fact most of the time my voice sounds like sand and putty. I haven’t influenced multitudes or became anyone “noteworthy.” I haven’t achieved greatness; at least as the world defines it. I’m not the Super Hero I always longed to be. I can’t help but think of the intro to the old cartoon “Under Dog” (my favorite as a child);

“What’s that up in the air? Is it a bird? Is a plane? Is it a frog?”

“No; it’s just little ole’ me: Under Dog!”

I might sometimes feel like an underachiever, but God has better plans for me than I have for myself. I have ten awesome children. What a blessing they are to me! I have a wonderful husband who adores me. I have the best ex-husband a woman could ever want (he adores me too). I didn’t write a best seller, but I published my testimony of how God redeemed me. I haven’t changed the world, but I’ve made a difference in the lives of some individuals.

If I had never tasted poverty, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate abundance. If I never experienced rejection, I wouldn’t have known what true friends are like. If I never felt sorrow, could I have known joy? Real wealth is not found in the amount of things in your possession, but in the love shared in relationships with family and friends. 

No, God isn’t as concerned about our comfort as he is about our character. Our experiences shape us, but they don’t define us. You can choose to go your way or you can choose to go God’s way. You can hold on to your “junk” (bitterness, jealously, envy, unforgiveness, pride, and ambition to acquire worldly fame and fortune), or you can trade it for God’s best. His best for us is rarely easy; but it’s necessary for our ultimate happiness. One cannot serve both God and mammon. Who and what will you serve?

Keep the Innocence; Ditch the Naivety

 Blog  Comments Off on Keep the Innocence; Ditch the Naivety
Apr 152014
 

I clearly remember the thrill of moving to Provo, Utah. The air was crisp and clean, the mountains like towering monuments adorned with nature’s accessories, and the sky above them was stunningly blue in sharp contrast to the Southern California “haze” I was used to. Life was good and sweet. A sense of expectation hung in the air, like every resident was on the verge of something big; yet at the same time serenity permeated the very fabric of the local geography. Living in Provo—at least in the 1970’s—was like living in a time capsule; it seemed that despite its effort the world couldn’t pierce this “Leave it to Beaver” biodome nestled snugly between “Y-Mountain” and Utah Lake.

Every family has a “crazy uncle”—or so they say—and the quaint city of Provo had one too. Perhaps the only oddity that reminded residents of life’s harsh realities was a man whom teenagers had nicknamed “Psyches.” No one knew how old the man was; he looked about 70, but was probably only 50; and he traversed the sidewalks as briskly as a 20-year-old power-walker. He was tall and lanky, wore a plaid flannel shirt, and always had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. A worn-out ball cap covered his forehead. All you could see of his face were his lips, talking to some imaginary companion. The story went that he was at one time a professor; a genius specializing in some kind of brainy subject like quantum physics. One day something snapped and he went crazy, becoming an indigent who walked the streets day and night like a restless phantom. I could picture parents warning their children, “This is what happens when you smoke.”

One of Provo’s main attractions (well, I suppose in a town of 75,000 at the time, it’s only attraction) was Brigham Young University. I loved spending my time on campus as a teenager, and later as an adult. I loved the bookstore, bowling alley, Movie Theater, and cafeteria in the Wilkinson Center. It was great! The bookstore had an old fashioned candy counter with dozens of delicacies encased behind glass. Also on campus was “the creamery,” where ice cream made from fresh cream, produced by fresh BYU cows was sold by freshly groomed smiling college students. It was a happy place.

But even in Provo, if you looked hard enough, there was a dark side. One time I was riding my bike and a man in a pick-up truck began following me. I got scared and rode up to the house of a stranger as if I had intended to bike there all along. When a woman opened the door I told her someone was following me and asked if I could come in and call my mother to pick me up. The woman invited me into the safety of her home, while the man in the truck parked across the street waiting. When my parents pulled into the driveway, the creepy man drove away. I was too afraid to go biking alone after that.

For all the happy smiles, hearty handshakes, and helpful inhabitants, there was a minority of those who were excluded from the pleasantries; people who just didn’t fit in. Who were the individuals on the fringe? Not people like “Old Man Psyches,” although he was certainly on the fringe. It was people who wouldn’t seem that much different from anybody else in California, New York, or Main Street USA. But they were different from the majority in Provo, Utah. Guys with long hair, smokers, drinkers, women in sleeveless shirts, inactive members of the (LDS) Church, atheists, Christians—simply put, people who didn’t quite fit the mold of the general population. My mom and dad became a couple of Provo’s misfits after they stopped attending the Ward. And I’m ashamed to say that I engaged in a sort of discrimination too, as you’ll read in my book. There was a time when I looked down at smokers, drinkers, guys with long hair, men sporting an earring, people with tattoos, Jack Mormons and a list of others.

Lest anyone think I’m pointing a finger at Mormons or Utahans, not at all! Through experience, maturity (I hope), and exposure to circles outside my own, I’ve found that prejudice, pride, and being judgmental is not exclusive to any one group of people. I think probably 99% of the population is guilty of these behaviors at some point in their lives. You’ll find people of every religious persuasion (including atheists) who discriminate against others or are critical and unkind.

Conversely, you’ll find stellar people of outstanding character in Mormonism, Catholicism, Protestantism, Judaism, atheism…goodness, the list could go on! The Jewish sages say that man is born with a “good inclination” (the yetzer tov) and an “evil inclination” (the yetzer ra).[1] The yetzer tov is characterized by selflessness; while the yetzer ra is characterized by selfishness.

I’ve heard the following tale many times:

One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. 

He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, greed, and arrogance. The other is Good – It is peace, love, hope, humility, compassion, and faith.” 

The grandson thought about this for a while and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” 

To which the old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

It’s easy to become cynical. As we experience disappointment, heartache, failure, pain, and loss; or as we watch the news and are confronted with war, poverty, crime, and disaster; many of us lose our “innocence,” that sense of awe and wonder at just being alive. If we’re not careful we can develop the very characteristics we once despised: being critical, scornful, or arrogant. So, what is the answer?

Keep or recover our innocence; being careful to not be naïve. Innocence is that same expectation I felt when I moved to Provo at age 14. It’s looking at others and seeing the good in them. It’s expecting that good things are going to happen. It’s the confidence that you can make a difference in the lives of others. It’s understanding our personal responsibility for “tikkun olam,” repairing the world. And even though as individuals we can’t repair the whole world, we can repair the world around us, starting in our homes. We can make efforts to repair broken relationships. We can reach out to a neighbor in need. We can let someone else take the good parking spot. We can let a person back out of a space instead of zooming around them. We can smile at a scowling store clerk. We can look past offenses (real or perceived) and forgive.

Conversely, it would be naïve to ignore problems or believe that none exist; or to not take precautions in unknown or uncertain circumstances. Or to believe that every single person we meet will have our best interests at heart. What did the Master, Yeshua, say? “Look! As I send you out, it is like sending sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes but as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16, The Delitzsch Hebrew Gospels). It’s imperative we are wise to what’s going on around us and to respond appropriately. And in the way we respond we must check ourselves to make sure our motives are blameless.

Are you out for retaliation? Are you trying to return hurt for hurt? Do you respond to insult with insult? Let me ask you my friend; is that how you want to live? Bitterness and unforgiveness are destroyers of peace. They fester like infected wounds and end up destroying the soul. Nelson Mandela once said that “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Look around you. What matrix are you living in? Is it one of innocence or one of malice? One of resentment or one of reverence? Are you pursuing peace or pursuing punishment? Evaluate yourself. Take an honest look. Feed “the Good Wolf”—the yetzer tov—and you will be set free.


[1] Article on human nature from Jewish or Hebrew perspective: http://www.jewfaq.org/human.htm

Is Your Spiritual Matrix False?

 Blog  Comments Off on Is Your Spiritual Matrix False?
Apr 062014
 

Google defines a matrix as an “environment or material in which something develops; a surrounding medium or structure.”[1] Our beliefs shape us. We live out our lives in the medium of our worldviews and perceptions. Not only does this hold true in regard to religion and theology, but in the way we see ourselves and others on a daily basis.

A child who grows up in a loving home where his physical and emotional needs are attended to will grow up believing that people are basically good, honest, and trustworthy. Whereas a child who grows up neglected or abused will see the world as hostile, and people as untrustworthy.  It doesn’t matter how beautiful, talented, or capable someone really is, if the authority figures in her life always told her she was stupid, ugly, or would never amount to anything, she’ll probably live out her life acting on that belief. This is a sober reminder that words have the power to hurt or to heal; another topic for another day.

The message I want to share in this post is about our thoughts toward God and our understanding of Him, because this affects the way we see ourselves and the way we live our lives. I’ve come to realize that we’re always at risk of falling under the power of a false paradigm—a matrix of error—that hinders us from having peace and a sense of purpose.

Our view of God is often based on how we saw our parents. A child whose father was loving and kind sees God as loving and kind. A child whose father was critical and distant will probably see God in the same light; cold and removed from our lives and struggles. What we believe about God is also determined by our religious training. Certainly there is value in listening to what others say about God, but of greatest importance is what God says about Himself:

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

Do I take any pleasure at all in having the wicked person die?” asks Adonai Elohim [Lord God]. “Wouldn’t I prefer that he turn from his ways and live? (Ezekiel 18:23)

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some people think of slowness; on the contrary, he is patient with you; for it is not his purpose that anyone should be destroyed, but that everyone should turn from his sins. (2 Peter 3:9)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only and unique Son, so that everyone who trusts in him may have eternal life, instead of being utterly destroyed. (John 3:16)

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and stars that you set in place — what are mere mortals, that you concern yourself with them; humans, that you watch over them with such care? (Psalm 8:3-4).

With a God so loving, merciful and kind, why do we resist Him? Why do we often set ourselves against His will, determined to maintain control over our lives and walk according to our own desires? “Control” is an illusion. Ultimately we have no real control over our lives. Yes, we can control our actions, our behavior, our words, and how we respond to things; however, we don’t have control over other people, events, circumstances, or even the consequences of our own choices. So why not submit to the One whose will is perfect and good?

Some of us have gotten the false impression that God is sitting in the heavens just waiting to inflict some disaster or trial upon us to “test” our loyalty and obedience to Him. And thus we’re afraid to submit ourselves to God’s authority, because if we do…well…He’ll just zap us. My friends please listen. This is a false MATRIX. It’s a paradigm that keeps us from intimacy with the Almighty. We will never fully obtain the peace of God—His “Shalom”—as long as we see Him as untrustworthy.

Do “bad things happen to good people?” Yes. Do good things happen to bad people? Yes. And conversely, good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. God is not some Cosmic Puppeteer orchestrating every detail of our lives and forcing us into conformance to His will. Jesus warned that in this world we will have tribulation (trials, struggles, problems), but he comforts us by saying that united with him we will have shalom. “Shalom” is not an absence of conflict; rather, it is an internal peace, well-being, wholeness, and completeness.

God took great care to preserve His word, found in the Old and New Testaments of the Bible (the Torah and the Apostolic writings). If we want to know what He is really like; His character and nature, and if we want to worship Him “in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24), we must be willing to “disconnect” from any MATRIX that keeps us in spiritual darkness so that we can enter “into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9).


[1] Matrix definition by Google

 

Scripture quotations are taken from the Complete Jewish Bible, copyright © 1998 by David H. Stern. Published by Jewish New Testament Publications, Inc. www.messianicjewish.net/jntp. Distributed by Messianic Jewish Resources. www.messianicjewish.net. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

My Faith Story of Finding God

 Blog  Comments Off on My Faith Story of Finding God
Mar 272014
 

Everyone has a faith story to tell, regardless of your religious background. It could be you believed there was a God from as far back as you could remember. Maybe coming to faith was gradual, or maybe you had a defining moment that you distinctly remember. Perhaps events and circumstances in your life led you to believe that God doesn’t exist at all. Whatever the case, how you came to your conclusions is “your story.”

When I was a child I believed in God. I didn’t know much about hell and can’t say that I ever thought about it.  In my mind God lived in heaven, and when people died they went there to be with him. I never considered that beliefs mattered; all that mattered was being a good person and doing good things to and for others.

I was introduced to the concept that what people believed mattered by the Mormons. The missionaries (and later my LDS leaders) explained that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the only true and living church upon the face of the earth and the only organization authorized to administer the “saving ordinances” of the gospel.

I was quite zealous in trying to convey that message to others as a new convert to Mormonism. I remember when I was about 15 and a door-to-door insurance saleswoman came to our home. Before my mom could tell her we didn’t need insurance, I invited her in, asked her what she knew about God, and then for the following 20 minutes or so shared my testimony of the Church with her. I told her how to get in contact with the missionaries and gave her our phone number in case she had any questions.

Years later when Ezra Taft Benson became the president of the Church, he gave a talk on the importance of making the Book of Mormon the cornerstone of our lives, and he urged members to spread the gospel by sharing the message with non-LDS family, friends, and neighbors. I took that to heart by buying a couple dozen paperback Books of Mormon, meticulously underlining key verses, and dispensing them out wherever I saw opportunity. For Christmas each one of my husband’s piano students got a plate of homemade cookies and a Book of Mormon. I even gave one to our mailman. I was nervous about the whole thing because I didn’t know how people would respond; but I wanted to do what was right and “follow the prophet.” Eventually, I began to focus most of my efforts on strengthening members of the Church, although it was in my heart to use my singing ability in the Christian community to bring people into Mormonism.

As you’ll see when you read my book, I didn’t successfully convert people to Mormonism; rather, I left the Church after 26 years as a devout believer. One of the things that the missionaries got right as they taught me the basic doctrines of Mormonism is that what a person believes matters. The LDS Church is either true or it is not. Either Joseph Smith was a prophet of God or he was not.

Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a prophet of God, divinely called, properly appointed and commissioned, or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground. If Joseph was a deceiver, who willfully attempted to mislead people, then he should be exposed, his claims should be refuted, and his doctrines shown to be false. (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 1, (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1956), 188-189)

My “faith story” is about how I discovered what the gospel is, and what it is not. It’s about my life as a Latter-day Saint and why I left the religion I so fervently believed to be true. Your experiences with Mormonism might be very different than mine. I’m not telling you what to believe or what not to believe; I’m just inviting you to let me share my story with you, and if you so choose after weighing the evidence and coming to your own conclusions, to take the journey from Kolob to Calvary.

Acknowledging the Good

 Blog  Comments Off on Acknowledging the Good
Mar 202014
 

Do you know people who complain all the time? Even when things are going well, they find something to fuss about. Food is either too hot or too cold, too salty or not salty enough. At church the sermon is either too enthusiastic or too boring, too long or not long enough. No matter what the situation is, they always see the glass as being half empty.

Conversely, and much rarer, are the people who always see the glass as half full. It doesn’t matter how badly things are going for them, they seem to find the good in everything. They lose their job? It’s “a blessing in disguise.” They break a leg? “Just glad it wasn’t both of them.” They seem to always have something positive to say even about those who hurt them.

There’s a man at church, John, who always see the glass as half full. Every time I see him he has a smile and a word of encouragement for everyone. He’s one of the first people to lend a helping hand or pray for someone in need of prayer. Recently I found out that he’s been living with pain from inoperable kidney stones for years. The stones are too deeply embedded to respond to lithotripsy, and because he’s diabetic, doctors are hesitant to perform surgery. When he was telling me this (and it was only because I asked) I cried. I cried because here was a godly man, suffering physically, and yet being more concerned about the needs of others than he was his own.

I know other men like John. There’s Scott, whose back pain from a couple slipped disks sometimes has him laid up for days at a time, but I’ve never seen him with a scowl on his face. He greets people as they arrive at church. When someone is moving, he’s there to help load and unload the U-Haul. Lucky (no one knows his real name. Guess he’s embarrassed) is another guy who everyone loves. He’s epileptic, so he doesn’t drive. Rides his bike everywhere. He’s almost 70. He’s survived cancer, pneumonia, and who knows what else, but he always has a hug, a handshake, a prayer, or a joke for each person who crosses his path. He mops all the floors at the church, cleans the bathrooms, and attends every single prayer meeting. He’s never late. Whatever needs doing, Lucky offers to clean up, fix up, or cheer up. In fact, no one else can keep up, because he’s so energetic.

These are the kind of people we can learn from. I’m sure you know people like John, Scott, and Lucky, as well as people who are bitter, hold grudges, and point out the negative everywhere they go.

When I first left Mormonism, I didn’t want to acknowledge any good things that came from being a member of the Church. Part of it was because I didn’t want to give credit to an organization that I believed taught a false gospel. I only wanted to credit God alone for every good thing that happened in my life. Now, don’t get me wrong.It’s not bad to want to give glory to God. The thing I had to eventually learn is that God can use many different situations and people to bring His goodness into our lives.

For example; God used Cyrus the Great, a pagan, to liberate the Jewish people and allow them to rebuild the Temple. Hiram, the King of Tyre, sent laborers and supplies to help Solomon build the Temple. We see many instances in the biblical record and since, where God has blessed His people through others, be they believers, non-believers, or pagans. Sometimes God heals people supernaturally by His power, and at other times he heals through medicine and physicians. In either case we can thank the Almighty for his provision and care.

I now look back with gratitude for all the Mormons in my life who taught me skills, helped us out in times of need, were good to my family, and who set great examples. I’ve been inspired by a lot of LDS men and women who were great parents, leaders, teachers, and friends. Just because I came to the conclusion that the religion of Mormonism is not reflective of the true gospel, doesn’t mean I cannot recognize the good that came from my affiliation with the Church and the Mormon people.

It’s important to point out error when necessary. Sometimes we have to speak out against falsehood, especially when it can bring harm. But we have to be careful that we don’t get out of balance, always focusing on the negative. It’s important to be known for what we stand for, as well as what we stand against.

 Older Entries  Newer Entries